More Facebook Funnies

September 2010:

[True Mama] was laying down with Henry waiting for him to fall asleep last night when he asked, "Mom, what's four plus four?" I said eight, and then I heard him counting quietly to himself from one to eight. He paused and said, "Yes, you're right."

[True Mama]'s husband was explaining to Henry where to place his tongue to make the "R" sound correctly. Henry tried it for a while, then got frustrated and said, "You're just tryin' to make me talk fancy!"

[True Mama]‎'s son told her husband, "I can paint anything you want me to." Her husband said, "What about a mosquito?" and Henry replied, "If he stays still long enough."

[True Mama] did not realize how literally Henry would take her when she okayed a "space" theme for his bedroom. He wants the walls, ceilings and floor painted black and his bed to look like a moon crater.

[True Mama] was looking at the Chinaberry catalog when some wooden Christmas carousels caught Henry's eye. He asked if we could buy them, and I said, "Well, one costs $75 and the other is $150." Henry studied them and then said, "Oh! The more expensive one has Jesus! No wonder it costs so much -- Jesus is the son of God."

[True Mama]‎'s son fell down the stairs this morning, which was all kinds of horrible. But the one funny thing is that Henry kept asking me afterward why I hadn't asked him if he knew where he was (and he was kind of peeved that I hadn't).

[True Mama]‎'s son just said, "Two plus three is four." Daddy replied, "No, it's not. It's five," and Henry said, "I tease."

[True Mama]‎'s son was pretending to be one of two little toy fish he owns, Fishy Wishy and French Fry. He said, "French Fry is really crabby. He wasn't like that when we got married, but I'm not going to divorce him. I still love him; I just don't like him anymore."

[True Mama] to Henry: "Please stop picking your nose and eating your boogers!" HENRY: "I didn't even get anything. Besides, I do it all the time in bed and you don't even know."

[True Mama] just had to explain to Henry why he should not be going around saying the word "cock" in front of other people. He's been saying it a lot lately without knowing that it meant anything, and when he said, "COCK, Zoe, COCK!" to the neighbor girl I finally had to say something.

I forgot to mention that Zoe was eating a popsicle at the time.


October 2010:

[True Mama]‎'s son suggested we play a game he just made up, saying, "Don't worry, it's fine for an old pregnant woman like you."

[True Mama]'s son was working on a craft project and getting frustrated. He said, "They made this project just so no one would ever want to do a craft project again!"

[True Mama] got up from sitting at the table with Henry to answer the phone, saying, "Excuse me, honey, I need to answer that." Henry said, "It's okay. I'll let you."

[True Mama]‎'s son asked, "Mom, how do you get to the Domes? I'm just curious." I said, "Well, you take 27th Street off the freeway" and he shrieked, "I don't even know where that street is!" I said, "Does crying help you understand?" and he said, "No! I'm just doing it!"

[True Mama]‎'s son came inside complaining that the neighbor kids were worried that he'd get blown away. I said, "I think you might weigh more than Zoe" and he said, "No, I weigh a pound less than she does." I asked, "How much does she weigh?" and he answered, "A pound more than me."

[True Mama]‎'s son invented something that can identify how smart someone is by their voice. He said I was 200 mump-o-meters smart and Daddy was 400 mump-o-meters smart. Nice. Even better, two minutes later he said, "Mommy, I figured yours out wrong. I was including the baby." Thanks, kid.

[True Mama] was telling Henry some of the cute ways he used to pronounce words when he was littler -- "Nonny" for his sister Maddy, "zoom-zoom" for living room, etc. When I was done, he asked, "What did I say for 'toxin'?"

‎[True Mama]'s son just asked if we were going to have a lifeguard for the birth pool.