Still Fighting It

Henry lost his first tooth today. We realized it was loose about a month ago (when the dental hygienist pointed it out) but it was last week that Henry started wiggling it in earnest. He was standing in the neighbor girl's driveway, waiting for her to come and play, when it finally came out.


Henry says that he doesn't want to leave it for the tooth fairy, who he doesn't believe in anyway. He wants to keep it forever.

That's my boy. Holding on to what he can while things change all around him.


Last night as I lay down with Henry at bedtime he asked, "Mom, will you be sad when I'm grown up?" Before I could think of an appropriate answer (because YES! I will be sad), he burst into tears and told me that he doesn't want to grow up, not ever. He said, "There's no fun when you're grown up."

Good God, what have we been modeling for Henry? Of course there's fun. In fact, I like being an adult a helluva lot more than I liked being a kid. But I can't tell him that, either.

The other day I was remembering when Henry's first tooth came in -- possibly the tooth that I can now hold in my hand. He was up all night, fussing and unhappy, and I found the strength to comfort him even in my exhaustion. The next morning I saw that a tooth had popped through and I was grateful that I'd been so patient with him.


Now that tooth is gone, and my baby is growing up.

Edited to add:

The night after Henry's tooth came out he had one of his thrashing and crying episodes in the middle of the night. He was whimpering and finally he said that he wanted me to come lie next to him and he would tell me what was wrong.

With his head resting on my arm, he said, "Do you ever feel like you're not really you?"

The next morning I came across a video for a song Ben Folds wrote for his son, titled "Still Fighting It":



He sings:

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
And you're so much like me
I'm sorry

Oh, Henry. I am sorry. But also so, so proud.

What's in a Name?

At some point in the past few months Henry started calling me by my first name, Kay.

Like, all.the.time.

For a while I overlooked it, figuring it was just a phase that would quickly pass. But weeks went by where I heard "Kay, I'm hungry," "Let's go to the park, Kay!" and "Kay, read me a book." When I would tell him I wanted him to call me Mommy or Mom and he explained that he called me Kay because Kay was my name.

I tried to figure out why it bothered me so much, and what it finally came down to was that for years and years I cared for children who were not mine, as a babysitter, a stepmom and a nanny.

I enjoyed caring for them, but it was always clear that I was merely a substitute for the real deal, their mother. I longed to be a mom to my own child and finally, I got my wish. When, as a baby, Henry first displayed his preference for me, and then eventually said "mama" -- well, there are no words to describe how I felt.

No wonder it was painful to hear Henry call me by my first name.

Now, I know I'm still Henry's mom, and still just as important to him, no matter what he calls me. And I realize that his having to share Silas with me could account for the change and that maybe -- probably -- I should have let it go.

But finally, one day when I was yelling at him about something unrelated, I added, "And from now on you're going to call me Mom or Mommy! No more calling me Kay!" Surprisingly, he agreed. He still slips up sometimes and calls me by my first name, but he willingly changes it when corrected.

It's good to be the mom again.

Funny Baby

Silas, at 7.5 months old, laughing:



Henry, at 7.5 months old, laughing:



I hadn't even realized they were the same age until I uploaded the video of Silas onto YouTube and saw the one of Henry. A friend on Facebook said that I changed my comedy routine. What can I say? Different kid, different schtick.

Henry Quotes (June 2011 Edition)

As I sang Silas to sleep last night with the song I adapted from "Bye Bye Birdie" (We love you Silas/Oh yes we do/We love you Silas/And we'll be true) my heart warmed as Henry sang along. Alas, he was singing, "We love you Silas/Oh yes we do/We love you Silas/And we'll smush you."

ME: Henry, could you please put your bowl on the kitchen counter?
HENRY: I thought you'd never ask.

HENRY: Do you know my least favorite part of my dance in the Spring Sing? [shows me] That was stupid. If the dance were a piece of paper, I'd cut that part out and throw it in the garbage.

HENRY (while playing Angry Birds): Boy, those birds must *really* hate those pigs if they're willing to destroy themselves to kill them.

HENRY (half asleep): Cover me up, please. [pause] Don't just lie there; cover me up!

I think Henry may have outgrown storytime at the library. When Miss Sue asked the kids what they know about kangaroos, he said, "Some species have adapted to live in trees and have lost the ability to jump."

Henry just told me, "Someone has to help me clean up! If Daddy won't do it, then you do. Silas doesn't understand about cleaning up and Venus doesn't have opposable thumbs."

Daddy has been introducing Henry to Jonathan Richman lately. His favorite song so far is "That Summer Feeling," but when he heard "The Tag Game" he said, "I hate tag."

Henry really slayed them at the dentist's office last week, regaling them with his knowledge of deserts and griping about Lily from his class at school. I had to laugh out loud when the hygienist asked him if he'd be going to first grade next fall and he answered, "Yes, but I'm trying to prevent it."

HENRY: Zoe said my birthday is only seven days after hers.
ME: That's not right. Her birthday is soon and yours is in August.
HENRY: I know, but she said that, and I said, "Oh!" because I was trying to go with the flow.

I love that Henry thinks the lyrics to the Death Cab song "You are a Tourist" are "There's a birdie in your heart" (it's really "When there's a burning in your heart.").

Block party today. Henry just ran out of the house, saying, "Goodbye, I have some serious water ballooning to do!"

I'm soooo proud of Henry. The little girl across the street was sad because she missed doing the pinata at the block party, so Henry gave her half of his candy and told her, "Friends are more important than candy."

I am the Mother of Invention

Henry loves to invent things. I'll say, "Man, I hate having to brush your crazy long hair!" and he'll ask, "Should I invent something that would keep my hair brushed so you don't have to do it?" And then he'll be off with his popsicle sticks, bits of ribbon and other stuff he's collected and saved (and by saved I mean shoved) in his art dresser.

Today I went inside the house ahead of Henry and heard a loud roar like a jet flying overhead. When he came in he told me it was a helicopter, but that "it flew by so suddenly I didn't have time to turn on my camera" -- he has one in his head, you know -- "but I think I'll make something that will automatically record anything flying overhead."

Here is the camera he built from paper, tape and a toilet paper roll:


In his left hand are drawings of all the possible objects the camera could record: helicopter, airplane, blimp or zeppelin.


See what I mean about the hair? I'm still waiting for that invention.

What's cool is that he knows these things don't really work, but that doesn't stop him from continuing to create and invent. In Henry's imaginary world anything can happen. The mix of creativity, engineering and art just astound me, and it almost makes the mess (did I mention he never wants to throw out any of his creations?) worth it.

Almost.

Finally Asleep

Last night my husband's band played a show, which meant I was on the hook for getting both boys off to sleep. Sometimes this is a simple matter and they're both in dreamland without too much trouble. Last night, however, Henry would not.stop.talking and Silas would not.stop.rolling.over.

I think Silas is at the very beginning stages of crawling, so when he rolls onto his stomach he'll push his upper body up with his arms and kick his feet. I love that he's working so hard to figure it out; however, I wish he would do it on his own time.

After they were both finally out I shot this video of them. There are few things sweeter than a sleeping child, unless maybe it's two sleeping children. In it you can see how HUGE Silas has gotten -- at his six month doctor's visit on May 23rd he was 19lbs. 4.6oz. (80th percentile) and 17.72 inches tall (83rd percentile).

Henry Quotes (May 2011 Edition)

I just found a Mother's Day card that Henry made at school in his backpack. I told him it was beautiful and he said, "I'm glad you agree."

The other day Henry was watching "Thomas and the Magic Railroad" with his half-sister Maddy. At one point Maddy leaned in toward the screen and said, "Go Lady! Go go go!" Henry burst out laughing and said, "Maddy, you don't have to say that!"

HENRY: I'm starting to feel sick again. I guess that means no school tomorrow!

HENRY (on hearing that his older brother works at BOTH union buildings on campus): You must be really busy. How do you manage it all?